Cuckold Horns

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A cuckold is the husband of an adulterous wife; the wife of an adulterous husband is a cuckquean. In evolutionary biology, a cuckold is a male which unwittingly invests parental effort in juveniles that are not genetically his offspring.^[1]

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History of the term

The word cuckold derives from the cuckoo bird, alluding to its habit of laying its eggs in other birds' nests.^[2][3] The association is common in medieval folklore, literature, and iconography.

English usage first appears about 1250 in the medieval debate poemThe Owl and the Nightingale. It was characterized as an overtly blunt term in John Lydgate's 'Fall of Princes', c. 1440.^[4] Shakespeare's writing often referred to cuckolds, with several of his characters suspecting they had become one.^[3]

The word often implies that the husband is deceived; that he is unaware of his wife's unfaithfulness and may not know until the arrival or growth of a child plainly not his (as with cuckoo birds).^[3]

The female equivalent cuckquean first appears in English literature in 1562,^[5][6] adding a female suffix to the cuck.

A related word, first appearing in 1520, is wittol, which substitutes wit (in the sense of knowing) for the first part of the word, referring to a man aware of and reconciled to his wife's infidelity.^[7]

Cuck

An abbreviation of cuckold, the term cuck has been used by the alt-right to attack the masculinity of an opponent. It was originally aimed at other conservatives, whom the alt-right saw as ineffective.^[8]

Metaphor and symbolism

In Western traditions, cuckolds have sometimes been described as 'wearing the horns of a cuckold' or just 'wearing the horns'. This is an allusion to the mating habits of stags, who forfeit their mates when they are defeated by another male.^[9]

In Italy (especially in Southern Italy, where it is a major personal offence), the insult is often accompanied by the sign of the horns. In French, the term is 'porter des cornes'. In German, the term is 'jemandem Hörner aufsetzen', or 'Hörner tragen', the husband is 'der gehörnte Ehemann'.

Rabelais's Tiers Livers of Gargantua and Pantagruel (1546) portrays a horned fool as a cuckold.^[10] In Molière's L'École des femmes (1662), a man named Arnolphe (see below) who mocks cuckolds with the image of the horned buck (becque cornu) becomes one at the end.

In Chinese usage, the cuckold (or wittol) is said to be '戴綠帽子' 'wearing the green hat', alluding to the sumptuary laws used from the 13th to the 18th centuries that required males in households with prostitutes to wrap their heads in a green scarf (or later a hat).^[11]

Associations

A saint Arnoul(t), Arnolphe, or Ernoul, possibly Arnold of Soissons, is often cited as the patron saint of cuckolded husbands, hence the name of Molière's character Arnolphe.^[12][13]

Cuckold Horns Definition

The Greek hero Actaeon is often associated with cuckoldry, as when he is turned into a stag, he becomes 'horned'.^[14] This is alluded to in Shakespeare's Merry Wives, Robert Burton's Anatomy of Melancholy, and others.^[15]

Cuckoldry as a fetish

Unlike the traditional definition of the term, in fetish usage a cuckold or wife watching is complicit in their partner's sexual 'infidelity'; the wife who enjoys cuckolding her husband is called a cuckoldress if the man is more submissive.^{[16][page needed][17][18]} If a couple can keep the fantasy in the bedroom, or come to an agreement where being cuckolded in reality does not damage the relationship, they may try it out in reality. However, the primary proponent of the fantasy is almost always the one being humiliated, or the 'cuckold': the cuckold convinces his lover to participate in the fantasy for them, though other 'cuckolds' may prefer their lover to initiate the situation instead. The fetish fantasy does not work at all if the cuckold is being humiliated against their will.^[19]

Psychology regards cuckold fetishism as a variant of masochism, the cuckold deriving pleasure from being humiliated.^[20][21] In Freudian analysis, cuckold fetishism is the eroticization of the fears of infidelity and of failure in the man's competition for procreation and the affection of females.^{[citation needed]} In his book Masochism and the Self, psychologist Roy Baumeister advanced a Self Theory analysis that cuckolding (or specifically, all masochism) was a form of escaping from self-awareness, at times when self-awareness becomes burdensome, such as with perceived inadequacy. According to this theory, the physical or mental pain from masochism brings attention away from the self, which would be desirable in times of 'guilt, anxiety, or insecurity', or at other times when self-awareness is unpleasant.^[22]

See also

• Polyandry, marriage to plural husbands

References

1. ^Steven M. Platek and Todd K. Shackelford (Eds.), Female Infidelity and Paternal Uncertainty: Evolutionary Perspectives on Male Anti-Cuckoldry Tactics. Cambridge University Press: New York, 2006.
2. ^'Online Etymology Dictionary'. Retrieved 19 December 2016.
3. ^ ^abcWilliams, Janet (4 July 2009). 'Cuckolds, Horns and Other Explanations'. BBC News. Retrieved 11 February 2013.
4. ^Geoffrey Hughes (26 March 2015). An Encyclopedia of Swearing: The Social History of Oaths, Profanity, Foul Language, and Ethnic Slurs in the English-speaking World. Taylor & Francis. pp. 191–. ISBN978-1-317-47677-1.
5. ^Coleman, Julie (1 January 1999). Love, Sex, and Marriage: A Historical Thesaurus. Rodopi. ISBN9042004339. Retrieved 22 November 2016 – via Google Books.
6. ^Williams, Gordon (13 September 2001). A Dictionary of Sexual Language and Imagery in Shakespearean and Stuart Literature: Three Volume Set Volume I A-F Volume II G-P Volume III Q-Z. A&C Black. ISBN9780485113938. Retrieved 22 November 2016 – via Google Books.
7. ^Oxford English Dictionary
8. ^Stack, Liam (August 15, 2017). 'Alt-Right, Alt-Left, Antifa: A Glossary of Extremist Language'. The New York Times.
9. ^E. Cobham Brewer 1810–1897. Dictionary of Phrase and Fable. 1898.
10. ^LaGuardia, David P., Intertextual Masculinity in French Renaissance Literature, Ashgate Publishing (Franham, UK 2008) p. 133.
11. ^Sommer, Matthew Harvey (2002). Sex, Law, and Society in Late Imperial China. Stanford: Stanford University Press. p. 218. ISBN0-8047-4559-5. Retrieved 2008-07-27.
12. ^Brian Joseph Levy, The Comic Text: Patterns and Images in the Old French Fabliaux, 2000, ISBN9042004290
13. ^William Beck, 'Arnolphe or Monsieur de la Souche?', The French Review42:2:254-261 (December 1968) JSTOR386804, p. 255
14. ^Oxford English Dictionary, 3rd ed, 2010, s.v.
15. ^John Stephen Farmer, Slang and Its Analogues Past and Present, 1903, s.v., p. 15
16. ^Ley, David (2009). Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them. Rowman & Littlefield. ISBN978-1-4422-0031-9.
17. ^Kort, Joe; Psychotherapist, Ph D.; Sex, Certified; Kort, Relationship Therapist at Joe; Associates; www.JoeKort.com, P. C. (13 September 2016). 'The Expanding Phenomenon Of Cuckolding: Even Gay Men Are Getting Into It'. Huffington Post. Retrieved 19 December 2016.
18. ^Harris, Lynn. 'What do you call a female cuckold?'. Salon. Retrieved 19 December 2016.
19. ^Klein, Donald C. (1 Dec 1999). 'The humiliation dynamic: An overview'. The Journal of Primary Prevention. 12 (2): 93–121. doi:10.1007/BF02015214. PMID24258218. S2CID43535241.
20. ^Rufus, Anneli (Jul 29, 2010). 'The Intellectual Sex Fetish'. The Daily Beast. Retrieved August 30, 2012.
21. ^'Cuckolding can also be mixed with other non-monogamous relationship arrangements with which it has substantial overlap such as swinging, open relationships, and polyamory. Again, it is distinguished from these concepts in that cuckold's thrill in their partner's acts is specifically masochistic.', Betchen, Stephen J., Magnetic Partners blog post, 11/18/14
22. ^Baumeister, Roy (2014). Masochism and the Self. New York: Psychology Press. ISBN978-1138876064.

External links

• Una McIlvenna (December 20, 2017). 'From the 16th-century to men's rights activists: The history of the insult 'cuckold''. ABC. Retrieved December 20, 2017.

The Cuckold's HornsMay 16, 2014

***Thanks to Ricardo and Neil for help with this post***

Cuckold Horns Explained

The cuckold's horns is a sign, usually indicated by two fingers placed over the head, of a man whose wife has been unfaithful. In many countries – not least the UK, see photo – the actual symbolism has been forgotten and only the offence remains. This blogger went to a secondary school where it was felt to be hilarious to ruin a photograph by sneaking fingers over a fellow's head, but none of the eleven and twelve years involved had the slightest idea what a cuckold was; in fact, they had no idea what a girl was, but that's another and a far more depressing story.

How old is the symbol and more importantly what have horns got to do with fooled spouses? As to age it would be nice to report that it stretches back into antiquity, but there are no convincing Greek or Roman references. While there is enough Greek and Roman material surviving for us to put together a fairly impressive list of classical hand signs: for example, a Roman scratching his ear at a man, implies the man is gay.

However, the cuckold's horns are definitely there in the Middle Ages. That great medievalist Peter Dronke noted a reference in the late 1100s in the work of Bernart de Ventadour. The earliest image of the cuckolded husband apparently dates, meanwhile, to a fourteenth-century French manuscript (of Gratian's Decretals), where a husband is shown with antlers on: frustratingly I've not been able to examine the image, I've just read about it. The earliest surviving finger horn is, instead, perhaps in the two images above: the first Flemish, the second French. The second, a copy, is a work by Francois Bunel (not Brunel as found in several references!): thanks to Neil H for the correction and the dating. C. 1580 for the first and 1580-1587 for the second. The renaissance was obssessed with cuckolds, far more so than the middle ages: not sure why.

Cuckold Horns Symbol

The most difficult question is, of course, where does the idea of a cuckold's horns originate? There are many theories but the best notion has to be that pushed a generation ago by Graber and Richter (1987). They referred to a curious agricultural custom whereby castrated roosters (capons) had their spurs transplanted onto their combs: where they grew into the comb as horns. (Talk about adding insult to injury.) The cuckolded husband is neutered, hence the capon's horns. If all this sounds interesting but hardly cuckoldish, consider that the German word for cuckold is Hahnrei (rooster-deer): etymological proof always sounds so convincing. The problem is that most studies suggest that the practice originated in the Latin Mediterranean (i.e. that's where we get most early evidence) but the connection there was with goats not roosters… Awkward. Any other quarter credible theories: drbeachcombing At yahoo DOT com

Also an afterthought. The picture above suggests that the finger horns can take various forms. Is it possible that the two fingers evolved in Britain into the two finger insult?

16 May 2014: Chris S writes in ‘I did take a peek at that W site, and it's alleged (but cited) theory is the horns are references to deer. Those comely does are fickle sorts, having no time for losers and rolling in the hay with any buck who can best her mate. On the other hand, my cursory inquiry into the mating habits of cervidae show females are like poker chips, with no say in the matter. Anthropocentrism coloring that hypothesis, obvs. In Caesar's Unicorn it was mentioned ‘bos' was a catch-all for hooved animals. Maybe goats were funnier than deer, and the tradition endured?' Thanks Chris. I think the problem with the deer theory, as with many is that the horns are applied to the man not to the woman.

18 May 2014: Neil writes in with this fascinating email: I disagree on one point, but I'll write a subsequent post because I find it so interesting. ‘Thanks for the credit for the Bunel, and for the articles and forgive me for being dubious but it's what I do. I remember the gesture at school too, but it was 'rabbit's ears' – i.e., a bit thick, certainly not reproductive or, for cuckolds, non-reproductive.(1) I think the two fingers gesture is a great deal more complex. I share your doubts about the relevance of curious additions to cocks' heads in Italy. It fits symbolically but not historically and there is no mechanism. Or at least, it fits the early associations of cuckolds with horns in England which are often not pairs, but there is no mechanism, but it doesn't fit the later reverse V sign, for which there is a mechanism, on which more later. I speculate as follows, expanding on your post: Cuckolds, like the poor, have always been with us. In early modern England I would connect the prominence of cuckolds to the concerns about the change in social roles, which is played out in the church courts, in which adultery is an offence against social order, and in local actions against couples where traditional gender roles were reversed (e.g., skimmingtons). The cuckold was not just a figure of fun but actually a representative of a danger to the fabric of society, because a married man was supposed to control his wife. In this context the symbolism of the horn on the woman in the True and Certaine Discourse (1588) in McEachern needs no help from Sigmund Freud. The horn is not with the man but with the woman. The finger gesture demonstrates that the man's horn is not where it should be, whether it is one or two fingers. Chris S's comment may be relevant here; does mate with whichever male is dominant at any one time, which may be sequential, and the penultimate male is usually run off by the dominant one, which is a good symbol for the cuckold. Early modern England was also fertile ground for the creation, or adoption, of symbols. There seems to have always been a distinction between the English and the continentals as to the number of fingers required to insult someone (2). I have been trying to find authoritative evidence of when Commedia del Arte players first came to England. There is a secondary reference to Italian players in London in 1566, and better evidence for the 1570s. Assuming the paintings date to the 1580s it is reasonable to assume the gesture was on stage a decade or so before. Even without direct evidence I think it's reasonable to say that there was enough transmission of ideas between Italy and England (e.g., John Florio) to make the theatrical gesture known, without a performance in England. The two questions are whether the gesture (a) was original stagecraft or use on stage of a gesture used in Italy and (b) was it in use in England before that?(3) Enough for now. Neil (1) The great FOAF of school photographs was the boy who ran from one end to the other to appear twice. I assume it's a myth. (2) Which brings to mind the wonderful chapters in Rabelais in which the English scholar Thaumast contests with Panurge by gestures alone (Book 2 Chapter 19) which includes the English V sign and Panurge is counselled on marriage and the inevitability of cuckoldry (Book 3 Chapter 28) which in the Urquhart translation includes 'have you no remedy nor salve against this malady of garffing horns in heads?' (3) I would be interested to know the earliest representation of cuckold's horns in England – and how many fingers are used.' Thanks, Neil!

21 July 2015: Elia writes in with this linked BBC article. This is a crucial passage.

The word derives from old French for a cuckoo ('cucu'). The females of some species of cuckoo lay their eggs in other birds' nests and leave them to bring up the offspring. So, with that whiff of unfaithfulness, the carefree bird gave us the word 'cuckold', which came in the Middle Ages to mean a husband with an errant wife. But there are more subtleties in that rude gesture. The word 'cuckold' also implies that the husband is unaware of his wife's infidelities. And he might only find out on the arrival of a baby – palpably not his. Which takes us back to the cuckoo. References to cuckolds abound in English literature. In centuries past, marital infidelity was good for laughs. Such as in Chaucer's The Miller's Tale, in which a young suitor comes up with the most convoluted scheme to entice his young lover away from her suspicious, elderly husband. 'For she was wild and young, and he was old, And deemed himself as like to be a cuckold.' Shakespeare loved cuckolds – many of his characters suspected they had become one. Cue anger, jealousy, murder and, of course, comedy. The word was also an excellent insult… 'crooked-pated old cuckoldy ram' is one of the more colourful.